Death is not just losing someone, and coping with the loss can be a highly charged and traumatic experience. No one can really tell you, what is the perfect way of coping with loss. Every individual is unique, so are the times they have to deal with. Losing something materialistic itself leaves you extremely disturbed, so losing someone you love or someone you’ve know can leave you feeling hollow. Studies say that when someone passes away it can deeply impact your state of mind. It can lead to a series of mental and emotional issues.
It’s been less than a month that I lost my maternal grandmother. As kids, we were extremely fascinated with the stories she would tell however while growing up, life took over and our conversations were restricted to a minimum. Yes, she lived with my mum until she bid adieu to the world, and every time, we visited her, we would talk to her. She was someone who liked her privacy and loved her room, radio, and television the most. When she fell sick, it pained us to see her in pain. We knew she would soon leave for heavenly abode but little did we know that coping with this loss would be a tough thing to do.
While it was tough for all of us to come around her absence, it was extremely hard for my mum. We realized that even though it would be a tough nut to crack, we would have to ensure that coping with this loss becomes easy for her. Here are a few things we did to ensure that we held on only to the good memories of my grandmother.
Talk about coping with the loss
When you lose someone close to you, you lose a part of yourself. Hence, it’s important to express how you feel. No matter how painful it is, talk about it. Tell family or friends about the myriad of emotions you are battling. Consequently, you will be able to come to terms with the current situation.
Go through the memories
The day after my grandma passed away, we sat in her room and went through her belongings. Revisiting her memories, helped lift a heavy boulder of our chest. We laughed and we cried, but eventually understood that she was in a better place. Mum spoke about her memories as a child even though some of them were blurry.
Donate their belongings.
This must have been the most challenging thing to do. As a religious custom, one is supposed to donate all the belongings of the deceased. It was hard for mom, but we knew that little things that we were giving off could help someone in need and she would receive blessings for it eventually.
Take one day at a time
We knew nothing could undo what had happened. The hard truth is that life has to go on. So, we decided to take one day at a time and adjust to the new normal. We tried to go about our chores and decided to manage just one chore at a time. It didn’t magically change things but helped us concentrate better.
Coping with the loss is easier when you stop explaining to relatives
Yes, people would want to grieve with you, share you pain and offer condolences. However, sometimes its ok to not explain everything in detail. Ask for your privacy. We did that for mom when our relatives called. We politely told them that mom will talk to them later and thanked them for their calls and wishes.
There is never a perfect or the most apt thing to do when it comes to coping with the loss of a loved one. You will always have a hollow that nothing or no one can fill. But the truth is that life goes on and all you need to do is take one day at a time. Believe in your own magic, keep faith in the force above and continue praying for the soul of your loved one.