Adverse effects of criticism and how to not let it affect you?

The easiest job in the world is to be an arm-chair-critic. Try creating your own work. “Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain and most fools do. – Benjamin Franklin

Most of us find it extremely easy to criticize someone before we learn to appreciate them. Additionally, there could be plenty reasons why someone chooses to criticize. Yes, we need some criticism in our lives and that is known as development feedback or to positively criticize something. Critical people often make unwanted remarks or are always judgmental towards others. There are times when the level of criticism around us increases so much that our lives tend to seem apocryphal. It begins to stonewall not just the perspective of the ones who criticize but also leaves a deep impact on the one that is being criticized.

Criticism or constantly finding faults with someone can tarnish them emotionally and affects their mental health. The impact sometimes is so huge that one is unable to cope up from the damage. A few things that are bound to happen when someone is criticized time and again by people

• They live in self -doubt throughout and their confidence drops to a level from where, it is extremely difficult to recover
• Will constantly seek, approval from people in their personal, professional and social lives.
• We fail to understand, that when we regularly criticise someone, they lose their focus. They will often try to juggle multiple roles to seek appreciation from people around them.
• People who are criticised often, fear failure and are constantly worrying about being judged.
• They will always try to justify what they do and the company they keep, knowingly or unknowingly.

Honestly, in my opinion, the more the people criticize other, the more insecure they are of their own being. With this thought in mind, I have been able to turn a deaf ear to almost all the criticism that comes my way. This doesn’t mean that I ignore these remarks always. Conversely, I pick and choose the criticism I need to ponder over.

The silver lining is, that, there are ways of dealing with critical people and criticism.

You have a choice

Yes, we all have a choice on how we choose to react to such people. Believe me, when I say, I have been a people pleaser all my life. However, over the course of time, I realized that before pleasing others, it was myself that I had to please. Hence, I chose to side-line the unnecessary remarks and opinions.

Stand your ground.

There is a very thin line between being assertive and being rude. If you truly believe in something and it is not harming anyone, be assertive about it. You don’t have to demean someone or pick a fight, however let them know how you feel. Instead, let them know that, you do not appreciate criticism always. If it’s your family or friends, who are always out to criticize you, be vocal about how you feel. You can always end the conversation by telling them that your relationship with them is what matters to you the most.

Try and match what you say with how you act.

Talking is mostly easy, it’s your behaviour that needs change. You can always tell someone who you feel about constant criticism. What would you do if the behaviour still doesn’t change? This is where your actions come into picture. You definitely do not want to be rude, so you, simply walk away from the person or the situation by excusing yourself politely.

Communicate

I have time and again stressed on the importance of communication in all our relationships. Always talk to people about you feel, when they move from giving feedback to criticism. If you feel someone is trying to control you, talk to them to help you find solutions instead. Positive Criticism can be about encouragement and focusing on the long-term goals.

Always believe in yourself.

Everyone is born with a purpose. I strongly believe that if I was useless, I wouldn’t be here. Hence, believe in yourself and your power. People are bound to have opinions and their thoughts will differ from yours too. Everyone was not made the same. Even identical twins have different personalities and we all have some areas of improvement too.

To deal with people who criticize often, can be extremely challenging. It can be emotionally and mentally exhausting too. Seldom, taking a break from the situation or the person can be helpful as well. Also, we must not forget, to err is human after all! We all are beautiful creations and with the right guidance, we all have room to grow.  Never confuse, guidance with criticism!