The best way to be happy is to not have, any expectations!!

I recently had an activity to conduct with my class where they were to emote certain feelings. They were to pick from different coloured chits and say aloud a certain set of sentences. It was a fun activity where everyone laughed and enjoyed themselves. This got me thinking as to how we consider emotions and feelings as one thing. There is a difference between the two. Emotions are strong feelings derived from a person’s circumstances, mood, relationships with others etc. Feelings are however just an emotional state or reaction. They seem to be very interlinked just like fried and ketchup or rajma and rice, can’t ignore either one!!

I usually draw references from food because I can easily tell you the kind of feelings; I derive out of

different food items. For example, ice-cream is synonymous with celebration, dal –rice is synonymous with comfort, alcohol with celebration and depression, dark chocolates are mood lifters and so on. Similarly, people associate feelings with relationship labels.

A spouse is expected to be happy, chirpy, a shoulder to lean on and a lot many other things. All hell seems to break loose in case a spouse is none of the above on certain days, they are judged as being insensitive.

A parent is expected to drown themselves in the thoughts of well being of their children. A parent is expected to run all errands, manage the house and themselves at all times. If a parent fails at doing any of the above, then walks in the unsolicited comments and advices from the so-called society.

If a sibling, a child or a friend for unexplainable reasons is unable to fulfil the expected requirements of a relationship portfolio, then they are again labelled as insensitive or selfish.

We all have been hurt, angry, sad, happy, excited in life. We have learnt our lessons too. Have you ever wondered if these are emotions or feelings? To me these are emotions that are a response to a situation. I suggest let’s not label these feelings with a person, let us label them as feelings to the occurrence of a situation.

Whenever you feel an emotion or experience a feeling that you do not resonate yourself with, ask yourself a few questions

  • What makes me feel the way I am feeling?
  • Why am I not happy or content with what I have?
  • What is my end goal or what do I look for in this situation?
  • How can I get better from where am I today?
  • Is there anything I could do to change this feeling or situation?
  • What should I stop doing right now?
  • Is there anything I could do to help myself or someone else?

Once you have answers to even a few of these questions, the feelings that clog your happy space will easily make way for sunshine!! This list of questions will keep changing because, you and I will keep changing and evolving. There will be situations, relationships, people who will leave different impressions on the canvas of your life, sometimes it will be a choice you will have to make to pick a new set of colours and paint a new picture on the canvas of life.

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