Things People Don’t Say Out Loud ( And Secretly Wished They Could )

A nice and bright morning where the rays of the sun slowly fall on the bedroom floor through your curtains. There is slow music playing in the background, and there is coffee simmering in your coffee maker. A book in your hand and a slow smile across your lips. A scene that looks straight out of a movie! Cut to reality, the only part that is real is you wanting to climb on top of a mountain and scream out loud, and express every unspoken thought! Even better, you’re standing on a street as crowded as an NYC or Tokyo walkway and you just scream, while the crowd walks past you. Nobody stops, nobody cares, and honestly, that’s probably for the best.

But wait, what exactly are you screaming about? Let’s rewind a bit, because this definitely needs going back into the past. Remember the time when someone met you and said, wow, you have lost weight? You smiled and politely agreed with them while in your head, you really wanted to tell them to be polite and rather tell you that you looked amazing without really mentioning your size. The moment when you picked up and hugged your toddler because they were howling over not being allowed to colour your walls with crayons, when in reality you probably wanted to yell and say that these are freshly painted walls and you are not allowed. (And no, crayons are not a new interior design trend.) And there could be a zillion things about people, places, work, children, and relationships that you wished you could express and say out loud but held yourself back from doing so.

As per the internet, here’s one of the major reasons why people don’t seem to share what’s really on their mind:

People often keep quiet about deeply felt emotions, quiet vulnerabilities, and social compromises to protect relationships or avoid discomfort.

And did you know that there are books and blogs written about it too? Quiet Truths We Keep To Ourselves

There are countless reels shared on social media about unsaid words and tightly hidden emotions and how they impact someone’s well-being. There are movements about mental and emotional health that encourage people to talk and seek help. But is it only about that? Is it only about seeking help when there is a problem, or is it something much deeper?

No, I am not propagating lashing out at everyone every now and then. All I am saying is that when something makes us uncomfortable, or something we don’t approve of, or for that matter, if there is a difference of opinion, why do we find it hard to say it out loud? Yes, we have highly unapologetic people who would just say anything and believe me, anything. But we also have people who run and rerun conversations in their heads multiple times a day, just to ensure they have a politically correct conversation. Sometimes the conversation hasn’t even happened, but the post-conversation analysis is already underway!

In fact, I even ran a little survey just to understand and maybe secretly find out the things people hesitate to say out loud. Trust me, there are way too many things people would want to just say without having to camouflage their words. However, here’s a list that I think we can start with.

1. It must take so much energy being you.

People wish they could say this to people who are extra and always demand extra attention. Imagine how cool it would be to tell someone to stop if they began draining your energy, rather than you trying to keep up. Of course, we probably won’t say it, because then we’d have to deal with the drama that follows. And who has the energy for that?

2. Yes, I regret a few things in life and I am sorry.

Well, we hear stories of courage and determination and how things of the past are seldom glorified. But we have all erred and regretted things. So, to admit our mistakes and embrace our faults and regrets, and to talk about them openly, would make our hearts lighter and put us at ease about goofing up in life. After all, not every mistake needs a motivational quote to make it meaningful. Sometimes, it was just a mistake!

3. Men and Women Should Help Alike.

Ouch! Now this could scar and wound a few hearts. We have women who do it all and then we have men who do it all too, and sometimes even better than women. But you know what would be even better? If men and women broke the stereotypes and helped each other, stepped in for one another and took on home chores and life responsibilities like their own. There needs to be no competition or comparison about each other’s roles, no guilt about who did what and one could rest whenever they wanted. World and relationships would be so much simpler, man! No one would be cooked and no one would be rage-baited either! And perhaps the biggest achievement would be not having to ask someone to notice that the dustbin is full. It is right there. It has been right there for three days!

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4. Success needs hard work, consistency and honesty!

You see the business, social media posts, the glitz and the glamour. You talk about the highs but you have missed the lows. You probably know nothing about the sleepless nights, the empty pockets, the clueless mornings that one went through. Success is not built overnight and it’s a continuous process. What you see today has needed a lot of effort. So, if you can’t appreciate my success and participate in my lows, then it’s best for you to not say anything at all. Also, please don’t assume that everything happened because I was lucky. Luck is great, but it doesn’t usually show up for all the sleepless nights!

5. You can say what you want, I don’t care.

Now this can be a tough cookie to crack. I mean, I don’t want my child to say that he/she doesn’t care or I don’t want an important matter to go unheard. But people genuinely wish they could always turn a deaf ear to unsolicited advice, be it about looks, health, marriage, kids, work and what not. Yes, you may mean well, but it’s always nicer to say, “I’m here if you want to talk”, rather than going about your own banter. Not every silence is an invitation to offer a solution, and not every problem needs a committee meeting!

6. Grief and healing is a personal process.

It’s easy for people to say, don’t worry or don’t think too much. It’s even easier to say, be positive. However, everyone’s situation is different. My healing, trauma, and grief could be completely different than yours. Things that grant you comfort could end up triggering me. So the next time you want to comfort someone, just let them take their time and be kind. Instead of offering them advice, pray for them and bring them positive vibes. Sometimes, just being there is enough. You don’t always need to arrive with a solution, a lecture or a PowerPoint presentation on positivity!

7. Men have tough days too.

Who said men were built tough? Physically maybe yes, but emotionally men are allowed to fail, feel hurt, upset, angry and a lot more things. If women are allowed to rant, so are men. There is no rule book that says that they can’t have tough days. Of course they can. Sorry to say this, but just how women face judgement, so do men. Maybe us lot can express it easily and they can’t. So, whether a man or a woman, everyone needs their space and people to be human to them. Even men are allowed to have a bad day without being handed a manual on how to fix it!

8. Kids have emotions and they can be right too.

With all the talks about millennials, Gen Z and Gen Alpha, understanding kids and their emotions has become something that is highly regulated by social media. But let’s just step back a little. Kids are allowed to be kids. They can have horrible emotions and they can mingle with yours, but sometimes we can be wrong and they can be right as well. Given the exposure, the technology, the keeping up with trends, kids are growing up faster than we want them to, and amidst all this, they can have their moments and are indeed allowed to slow down and do nothing at all. Not every mood needs to be decoded, discussed and turned into a parenting lesson. Sometimes, they’re just having a day. Much like us, except they haven’t learnt to hide it behind a cup of coffee yet!

9. Dreams can change and that’s fine.

Remember how you wanted to be an actor, doctor, teacher, pilot, air hostess, makeup artist etc. when you were younger? Then life happened and a lot of dreams and ambitions changed. Well, I guess that’s okay. Dreams and ambitions can change based on your current life scenario, your health, your desire etc. There is no hard and fast rule that what you want today should be achieved by tomorrow. You can want something entirely different the third day too. Just make sure, whatever you want, you try at least once to achieve it. And no, you don’t need to explain to the world why you changed your mind. Even Google Maps recalculates the route when you take a different turn!

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10. Health above all.

Yes!! I think this should have been on top of the list. Those late-night meals, the chugging of soda, the popping of pills and randomly buying over-the-counter medicines, they all impact your gut, immunity, and your entire freaking system. Get your routine tests, don’t ignore signs, and don’t ChatGPT your symptoms for God’s sake! Also, don’t just go to any doctor, check their qualifications, reviews, ask a few people and trust your own feelings when visiting one. Look for an expert and never, never ignore your health. Eating out is inevitable but get some exercise, and balance everything. And please, Google is not a medical degree, nor is that one relative who has a cure for absolutely everything!

And as I was curating this list, there are so many things that one wished they could say out loud, but don’t. Sometimes it’s lack of knowledge and most often it’s lack of support. Sometimes it’s the fear of judgement and sometimes it’s the fear of missing out or losing something. If I could really ask people to be something, I would ask them to be more patient, be kind and be happy. Find peace in what you do and cut yourself some slack, no matter who you are.

Remember, God just made one of you and even if God made a twin, they too are different than you. So love yourself, take care, keep shining and growing!!