As a parent I feel I am crisscrossing through a series of ever changing paintings of parenthood. Every now and then the beauty of these painting gets affected. Sometimes it is due to natural causes such as flooding of emotions or a slight drought in terms of understanding each other. Other times, the calm gets disrupted through man-made disorders such as social media and peer pressure. At the end of your course you realize that it is a painting you constantly want to beautify and treasure forever.
One of my favorite quotes that sums up parenting was told by Walt Disney
“Most things are good, and they are the strongest things; but there are evil things too, and you are not doing a child a favor by trying to shield him from reality. The important thing is to teach a child that good can always triumph over evil.” –Walt Disney
In a world that is bombarded with evil at every nook and corner, it becomes vital for parents to teach their kids about the strength of goodness. It takes a great deal to raise independent and confident kids. You will have your moments of hurricanes and storms before the calm and serenity takes over again. As a parent it is crucial that you teach your kids to believe in their flaws. The flaws instilled with some magical portion of parental love and guidance will soon become their wings of buoyancy.
Recently I got into a tiff with my little man over what kind of clothes he should wear. I was expecting him to cover up because the weather was really windy and he wanted to pick something else. Hence began a drama that was gloomier than the blue-Monday. We eventually settled on something that was a win-win for both of us. This incident made me realize that kids have a strong urge to be treated as individuals and not just being told, “Because I said so”!
Kids want their opinions to be considered as well. They want us parents to understand that they are different individuals who could have different needs. (We created them, yet they are different, strange huh?) Yes, may be, we shouldn’t treat them like full grown adults but it’s time we understood their perspective too. So while we provide the structure, balance, accountability, and discipline that children need, we also must provide them with attention, respect and individuality.
When I explained to my son, why I wanted him to wear a certain thing, he understood. I have often gone back to my son and apologized for being wrong. While, I did that, I made him understand that it’s ok to say sorry and accept your faults. It also shows that adults can mess up too, they are human after all!!
There are times when I can already gauge an argument that is beginning to build up. In a situation like that, I often ask questions to my child. I ask questions pertaining to his feelings and solutions to a situation.
Then, there are always times when we see opposite worlds and tough times like these call for multiple options. We give options to each other and choose the one that suits the situation the best.
We also end up asking each other for help because we all know that even though parents have super powers, they too need a helping hand.
Ultimately, parenting is not about control. Kids aren’t irrational beasts out to deprive you of patience and silence. They’re little people in need of understanding and a helping hand. And when they get what they need they’re usually pretty spectacular.
There are some great inspirational quotes on parenting which are bound to cheer you up. Read them here