Marriage is a gamble said someone to me really long ago. I wondered why they said that, may be inn their times, it was. I mean the prospect of not knowing someone completely and then having to spend your entire life with them is nothing short of a gamble. In this gamble sometimes there is no guarantee of you winning a jackpot even if you know the person well. It is a secret that everyone has to crack through their own formula, isn’t it?
I love my husband and there is no doubt about that. There is no doubt about how comfortable we are with SMDA (Social Media Display of Affection) too. In my case I have known him long enough to, want to, through a bludger at him. While I am throwing that bludger at him I am also hoping it doesn’t hit him too hard however it should just shake him up a bit. I also know there are times when he would want me to put a lock on my mouth and really ask me to go take a hike!! Well, well, these are just the pros and cons that come with sanctity of marriage.
There are few things that are expected out of two people that are married. These expectations are not defined by anyone, these expectations are like, a cake to a birthday party. They are meant to be there.
Respect – Respect, in its true meaning is due regard for someone else’s feeling, wishes, rights and opinions. I strongly believe and practice as often as I can to treat my partner exactly the way I would want him to treat me. You both have to understand that both of you have begun a new journey and no matter what happens, neither of you should disrespect each other.
Friendship – It’s funny how easily we understand our friends and are willing to move mountains for them when needed but we seldom treat our spouses differently. If you begin treating your spouse as your friend, the trust, care, love, respect, humor and everything else will all follow and find a place in your little kingdom of marriage.
Trust – This takes a while to arrive. It is not like buying a commodity off the shelf instead it is like saving money to buy yourself that special thing you have always wanted. Your actions, your habits and your behavior impact these easily. Just like a small child will break a toy easily, trust too can be broken easily however the person who bought that toy will be able to tell you the time and effort it took to buy it and in this case, to build trust!!
Faith – We always have faith in our family, our parents, well-wishers etc. Similarly we have to have faith in each other. It’s like barter, the more the better. Never doubt or question your partner. Do no sneak on them or ask them too many questions until you are asking questions on a purpose. Do not keep checking on them often. No one likes a Betaal hanging on their backs!!
Love – This is the main ingredient of the recipe just like salt. If you miss this then all the effort you put into cooking that beautiful meal will go waste, so yes love each other whole heartedly. Make each other feel special in your own ways.
Communication – I am glad that Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone because I wonder what would be like without any means of communication. This is another key ingredient for the recipe of marriage, just like sauteing of onions, tomatoes and spices for that rich aromatic taste. As each other’s partners, its best to communicate to each other about your wishes, needs and feelings. It’s like getting your vehicle serviced because if you don’t do that regularly then the vehicle starts causing problems.
Consent – In a marriage people are expected to say yes to each other. It’s like expecting it to be like the law of gravity, where things are bound to fall down however taking each other’s consent for trivial matters is equally important. Yes, there will be times when you take each other for granted, speak through your eyes like Salman Khan and Aishwarya Rai which are bits and pieces of having a flavorsome marriage but you also need to ensure that your partner is happy and you have their consent.
There are so many things apart from the ones listed above. Spending quality time with your own self is also another key to unlock this secret because you have to be happy from within to be able to be happy with someone else. Spending quality time with each other is also important and I say this with conviction even though, my husband and I are sitting in two different rooms working on our laptop right now!!
I am not a relationship expert however over the years of courtship and marriage I have realized that it’s like a boomerang, you get what you give. Off course there are moments and situations beyond anyone’s control and in times like those you just take it with a pinch of salt and then, look for those really rare times when you can add extra salt to your partner’s dish!!