{"id":15445,"date":"2026-09-17T20:16:24","date_gmt":"2026-09-17T14:46:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/decodinglives.com\/?p=15445"},"modified":"2026-09-17T20:16:28","modified_gmt":"2026-09-17T14:46:28","slug":"trapped-in-my-own-mind","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/decodinglives.com\/index.php\/2026\/09\/17\/trapped-in-my-own-mind\/","title":{"rendered":"Trapped in the Upside Down of My Own Min"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

I recently came across Vex King\u2019s book, \u201cThings No One Taught Us About Love,\u201d<\/em> and it did what any good book does\u2014it sent my overthinking brain into a tailspin.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While scrolling through quotes, one phrase kept stalking me the way Voldemort stalked Harry Potter: Self-Love.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It sounds like a shiny Gen Z trend manufactured for Instagram aesthetic reels, but self-love is ancient. The problem isn’t that it’s new; the problem is that we still don\u2019t actually know what it looks like when real life hits the fan.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Aesthetic Version of Healing<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

On a good day, the internet tells us that self-love looks like “healing.” It’s not just visit to spas, malls, or a solo vacation, it’s more than that. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s the quiet elegance of walking away from an argument. It\u2019s choosing not to react impulsively to triggers that used to set you off. It\u2019s politely distancing yourself from people who hurt you, choosing peace over fixing situations that refuse to be fixed, and letting go of people who are allergic to accepting fault.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sounds beautiful, right? It deserves a soft-focus background filter.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Enter the Demogorgon<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But what happens when the aesthetic healing fails? What happens when a person or a situation rips through the boundaries you worked so hard to build\u2014like a Demogorgon crashing through a living room wall?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Do you fight like the Stranger Things<\/em> crew to destroy the Vecna of your problems? Or do you follow the spiritual path that smugly reminds you \u201cthe answers lie within you\u201d<\/em>?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you look for those answers. You fall down a rabbit hole of endless Google searches, late-night Reels by therapists, and scholarly advice, hoping for that one missing puzzle piece to make it all make sense. You just want an assurance that your entire existence doesn’t depend on someone. You want a sign that you are meant for bigger, more beautiful things, and that you will soon wake up from this bad dream.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Silent Villain: Cold, Hard Cash<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

But let\u2019s talk about the villain the self-help books leave out: money.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What do you do when finance becomes the silent wedge in a relationship? The same money you once spent on each other with absolute joy suddenly morphs into a mountain of resentment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What changed? One person is crushed under the weight of financial pressure. But isn\u2019t the other person carrying a different kind of heavy lifting? Yet, somehow, the non-breadwinner is left feeling trapped behind a wall with no doors and no windows.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Remember that old Enrique Iglesias line, \u201cYou can run, you can hide, but you can\u2019t escape my love\u201d<\/em>? Suddenly, it doesn’t sound romantic. It sounds like shackles.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Plot Twist (Courtesy of My Brain)<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Then, my overthinking mind\u2014which simultaneously plays Devil\u2019s Advocate and Unhinged Optimist\u2014unites to throw a curveball: What if this is all a test?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

What if this financial trap is a calculated plan by the secure partner to push you out of your comfort zone? Or worse\u2014what if this is God\u2019s aggressive way of shaking you awake after two decades of ignoring the truth?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But truth is a terrifying thing to seek. What if everything you imagined collapses like a line of dominoes the moment you look it in the eye?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You end up spinning in a whirlpool of your own thoughts. You tell yourself to try harder, to shut the door to this delusional dimension, but the door is jammed. You seek help, you gather your people, you call out to God. You know it could all change in a single second by His will. Kun Faya Kun<\/em> (Be, and it is).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Upside Down of Parental Guilt<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

And then, something snaps. You find a way out\u2014or at least, a temporary release valve.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The pressure builds up so high that you lose it. You scream, you clench your teeth, you release the monster. And tragically, it usually happens at your kids, because they are the only ones who can’t fight back with the same force.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For a single, fleeting second, you feel a twisted sense of relief. The steam has escaped.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But in the very next second, your throat dries up. Your chest tightens. The familiar, suffocating wave hits you: you haven\u2019t escaped the trauma at all. You\u2019ve just opened the door to a much worse dimension\u2014the Upside Down of parental guilt, anxiety, and self-loathing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now, you have to battle the original problem and<\/em> the heartbreak of seeing your own stress reflected in your children’s eyes. And so, you keep floating\u2014suspended in a spiraling space, waiting for the gravity of real life to make sense again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

But maybe that<\/em> is the real lesson Vex King was trying to teach us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Maybe self-love isn\u2019t about maintaining a flawless, meditative Zen state while your world is actively catching fire. Maybe it\u2019s not about never breaking down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Maybe self-love is what happens after<\/em> the breakdown.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s the moment you wash your face, walk back into the living room, and pull your kids into a tight hug to say, “Mommy is sorry, I’m just having a hard day.”<\/em> It\u2019s the willingness to forgive yourself for being human, flawed, and fiercely overwhelmed, while still holding on to the absolute certainty that you are worthy of better days.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Upside Down is a scary place to get trapped, and the financial walls might not disappear overnight. But as long as we keep choosing to turn the lights back on, apologize when we stumble, and try again tomorrow\u2014we are decoding the chaos. One messy, unpolished day at a time.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I recently came across Vex King\u2019s book, \u201cThings No One Taught Us About Love,\u201d and it did what any good book does\u2014it sent my overthinking brain into a tailspin. While scrolling through quotes, one phrase kept stalking me the way Voldemort stalked Harry Potter: Self-Love. It sounds like a shiny Gen Z trend manufactured for […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":15446,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[3,13],"tags":[],"yst_prominent_words":[],"class_list":["post-15445","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-musing","category-parenting"],"blog_post_layout_featured_media_urls":{"thumbnail":["https:\/\/decodinglives.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/image_e0796631-150x150.jpg",150,150,true],"full":["https:\/\/decodinglives.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/image_e0796631.jpg",1408,768,false]},"categories_names":{"3":{"name":"Musings","link":"https:\/\/decodinglives.com\/index.php\/category\/musing\/"},"13":{"name":"Parenting","link":"https:\/\/decodinglives.com\/index.php\/category\/parenting\/"}},"tags_names":[],"comments_number":"0","wpmagazine_modules_lite_featured_media_urls":{"thumbnail":["https:\/\/decodinglives.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/image_e0796631-150x150.jpg",150,150,true],"cvmm-medium":["https:\/\/decodinglives.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/image_e0796631-300x300.jpg",300,300,true],"cvmm-medium-plus":["https:\/\/decodinglives.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/image_e0796631-305x207.jpg",305,207,true],"cvmm-portrait":["https:\/\/decodinglives.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/image_e0796631-400x600.jpg",400,600,true],"cvmm-medium-square":["https:\/\/decodinglives.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/image_e0796631-600x600.jpg",600,600,true],"cvmm-large":["https:\/\/decodinglives.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/image_e0796631-1024x768.jpg",1024,768,true],"cvmm-small":["https:\/\/decodinglives.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/image_e0796631-130x95.jpg",130,95,true],"full":["https:\/\/decodinglives.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/image_e0796631.jpg",1408,768,false]},"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/decodinglives.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/image_e0796631.jpg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/decodinglives.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15445","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/decodinglives.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/decodinglives.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/decodinglives.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/decodinglives.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=15445"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/decodinglives.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15445\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":15447,"href":"https:\/\/decodinglives.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15445\/revisions\/15447"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/decodinglives.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/15446"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/decodinglives.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=15445"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/decodinglives.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=15445"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/decodinglives.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=15445"},{"taxonomy":"yst_prominent_words","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/decodinglives.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/yst_prominent_words?post=15445"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}