Our kids are like sponges. They absorb everything they see and hear. How we talk to our kids, what we say to them makes a great impact on them. The words we use when we talk to kids has the power to enhance their personalities. Parenting was not as widely discussed until a few years ago, as it is now. I remember being yelled at one I did something wrong immediately. Additionally, appreciation too was instant. Furthermore, I recall, my moods were not something that were always paid heed too.
As a parent, I often (read multiple times) think about how I talk to my child, what I say to him, how should I comprehend his feelings etc. I have often been told that I have taken my parenting journey way too seriously. Well, I have always tried to give the best shot at my responsibility. Hence, I do read a lot about positive, gentle and happier ways of parenting. One of these things definitely include, paying attention to how we talk to kids.
I have often seen people asking boys to withhold their tears and be strong. This, I personally think is the first mistake parents make when they talk to their kids. Through this blog, I will discuss a few things we parents must consider when we speak to our kids.
Talk to kids about their feelings.
I started acknowledging my little one’s feelings when he was little under one. As parents we repeated his expression of happiness. Everytime he would cry or get upset, I tried using positive affirmations to acknowledge his moods. As he grew up, we spoke about what made each of us experience different emotions. We also discuss how we can express ourselves when we feel a certain feeling or emotion.
We often complain about kids not participating in home chores or not taking care of their things. Kids are observant. They will do what they see. You need to practice organising and arranging things in front of them.Turn small chores into a game for them to learn. Talk to kids about what will happen if a certain chore is not done. Eventually, kids will pick up and will learn to take on some chores too.
Appreciate kids and encourage them
No one learns to do something instantly.We all learn through practice.Appreciate your kids when they try to do something. if you have to correct them, first appreciate their efforts and then give them ideas to improve it.
Don’t ask to many questions and don’t give all answers
As parents we are always excited to know about our children.However, as they grow older, they may not like being questioned too often. Give them their space and if you want them to talk, talk to them too. Also, let them try and find answers to questions which will help channelise their curiosity.
Discuss negative behavior in a positive manner
Help your child accept the negativity and together explore choices to improve that. We must try and model the behaviour we want to see in our kids. Respect each other’s emotions. Sometimes time out from each other may also be needed to improve a situation.
Be open to adventures
We are often scared of trying new things. However, it helps to be adventurous sometimes because that makes us and our kids confident. This way you are also helping your kids to be open to uncertainty. Talk to kids about exploring and accepting new challenges too.
These tips are something we all practice in our daily lives. We are the store houses of our kids’ special moments and I try to keep it like that. We all must help our kids believe in positivity while talking to them. Make sure kids also overhear you talking nice things about them instead of only complaining.
I definitely talk to little one about what he wants to be and what I want to be. I say sorry when I am wrong. We even have our own conversation hours. The kids need the little things as much as they need the bigger things from parents.
We all want our kids to be good responsible and successful humans. Addtionally as parents, play a huge role in this journey and we must play the part well.
We may not always follow a schedule but remember to pay attention to little things while talking and listening to them.