I remember getting reeled in the operation theatre and the smile vanishing from my better half’s face, who until a few minutes ago was busy taking pictures of the pregnant me!! I was as usual a little unperturbed and anxious about what was going to happen. I was more or less relieved about the fact that I would not experience the pain of the doctors ripping apart my stomach but I was also sad about not being able to do the dramatic movie version of being able to push my baby out of my body!!
Approximately about an hour later, I heard the pediatrician congratulate me on my baby’s arrival and all I got to do was hear his wailing and giving him a little kiss, before the doctor zoomed out to give the news of his arrival to my family.
I am not sure how long had I passed out for, I remember mumbling something in my state of drowsiness and then slipping into deep sleep again. I remember waking up to happy and excited faces that looked relieved at my state and were congratulating me on being a mother!!
I was told that my stitches were well sealed and would be taken off in a few days and I could nurse my baby in a day or two. As soon as the effect of the anesthesia died, I could feel the pain in my lower abdomen, all hell broke loose when I was made to stand the next day to walk. Walking those four steps probably took the life out of me and I felt abysmal at the sight of the blood stained bedsheet that I lay on.
My family, helped me get back on the bed and assured me that the pain would last just a few days. The pain of having a C-Sec baby lasted for more days than “just few”. The abdomen pain was soon accompanied with a sore shoulder. Two days after we got home, I faced the real test of motherhood, I had to be away from my new born child for few more days because he needed phototherapy to cure his new born jaundice.
Besides sniffing his clothes and shedding buckets of tears, I also had the task of expressing milk and boy it wasn’t easy. I can’t say very clearly now as to what hurt more, the pain of expressing milk or being away from my child.
Finally we got home and now I was my baby and my sore shoulder that I had to take care off. Thanks to my mom, I slept when the baby slept and sometimes slept even when the baby was awake. We definitely couldn’t differentiate between night and day because our routines of feeding and diaper changes were almost similar! We battled sleepless nights for over two years, we had to be exclusively breast fed because we threw a revolt against formula. Then mommy had to be stuck up in the hospital for five days, thanks to gall bladder stones taking over. We sailed through, some tough times, if I am allowed to call them tough!!
Then time flew,faster than being seated on fire bolt. We don’t want to be kissed in front of our friends but we need a lot of snuggles when we are sick.He is six years old now and I am not sure if I would want to turn back time and change anything. I seldom, miss my full time work career and of being able to juggle both home and work easily, however I know that I juggle a lot many roles now. We all do, juggle more roles than the dictionary definition of a mother.
As mothers we often underestimate the power we have in us. Nah, I am not talking about the momster role we sometimes don for our kids, just the pure power of love and care we possess if what I am referring too.
If as a woman, you have ever birthed or raised a child, you have been capable of magic. You would have days full of all emotions but the days when you lie snuggled up with your little being are the days you will experience the beauty of this magic. So no matter, what the world tells you woman, you as a mother, as a woman are absolutely fantastic and let no one make you feel any different.