Musings

Here is why I don’t celebrate women’s day!

While I practically spent my entire day deleting the numerous images that had “happy women’s day” etched on them, I also spent part of my day reading the motivational, inspiring posts on Instagram. The best part of these messages doing rounds on social media was that, a lot of men took time out to talk about situations that involved empowering woman. Now, I have always wondered what empowerment really meant. As per dictionary the first meaning for empowerment is, authority or power given to someone to do something.  Do we really need to be given the authority to do something? Women are often and repeatedly trolled for having a mind of their own and doing things as per their wish, so I guess it’s about time we lived up to what we are actually trolled for, haina?

The other meaning of the word empowerment means, the process of becoming stronger and more confident, especially in controlling one’s life and claiming one’s rights. This again talks about your own journey and your own struggle, it doesn’t talk about the need for someone else to intervene in your path.

I am someone who doesn’t lay much importance on celebrating these days because I feel the things we do on these days need to be done every day. We definitely don’t need the pomp and show, but the appreciation, love, respect and care should be an everyday phenomenon.

While browsing through the chain of these wonderful thoughts, I also stopped and pondered over few things that should be spoken about more often.I am indeed glad about the leverage I have in my life I right now.Thankful of having the comfort of writing this down while being in an air conditioned environment, wincing at the thought that, there is a whole lot out there who can barely manage one meal a day!! We are fortunate and blessed in more ways than one and there are so many people out there who acknowledge this fact and aim to spread the magical dust to others.Ironically, some of us are also programmed to keep going without paying much heed to our physical and mental health that when we are sometime hit by a big boulder called self-realization, we are immediately surrounded by self-doubt.

We don’t realize when this self-doubt turns to misery and impacts the very core of our being. It is like the dark cloud covering your bright sunlight and is not even ready to budge an inch. As a women we are given a lot of labels every time we try to be something.

Women are referred to be too bold or talkative when they are only trying to be fearless!

They are ridiculed to be wasting their time when they try and be creative.

They are referred to being lazy and pompous in case they have a nanny for their kids.

They are considered low society or uneducated if their dressing is too desi.

Their parent’s get blamed immediately for not raising their daughter’s right, in case they decide to speak about the wrong.

They are brandished for too much skin show and sometimes even called characterless when they decide to flaunt that body that took her years to build.

And often hell breaks loose when a mother doesn’t know to whip up multiple delicacies or if she chooses her work meeting over a school meeting.

Uff! Society and society walo, didn’t your parent’s teach you that it’s bad manners to poke your nose in other person’s business or did you very conveniently forget that.

This women’s day, I have an avalanche of thoughts that I want to speak my mind about but again I don’t want my burkha clad, educated mother getting dragged into this. So, let us quickly detour around a few things that need to be practiced day in and day out.

  •  Help your woman shed the labels she has been given over years and if you can’t do that, share the load and labels together.
  • Do not categorize her likes based on gender or colors. Every human has a fundamental right to choose and speak as they want.
  • A child is born through both parents and it should be an equal responsibility for both. The best part will be when you both keep swapping responsibilities every now and then. You will be the happiest on setting an example for your kids to follow.
  • Appreciate all the women around you. Even if it’s your maid, a small thank you will keep her smiling all day long. Do this was all your helpers’ infact.
  • Encourage people who are making an effort, your words don’t come with a price tag, so spend the good ones as much as you can.
  • Participate in small deeds that help you be a Good Samaritan often. I have patted my back twice in the recent past by sharing an auto ride with complete strangers.
  • If you are on social media, don’t just spread the gyaan and good thoughts, give people ways and means to practice them.
  • Donate books, clothes, hygiene products without a donation drive.
  • Make your woman financially independent. Managing bank books and bank accounts needn’t categorically be a man’s job.
  • Encourage your woman to take care of her fitness regime. If she is fit, then your house will be fit too.
  • Appreciate each other in public and pin point each other’s faults in private.
  • As a woman the least you can do is not talk bad about another woman.Every one’s struggle is their own.

WE always talk about big issues on days that are celebrated worldwide. We must make it a habit to talk and act upon the issues that bother us every day in our own way. Remember the time you got milk for that little kitten or purchased biscuits for that little pup, that little soul would have sent you some magical dust for sure. Your deeds and thoughts are like a boomerang, bound to come back to you even before karma reaches you.I have been rightly told by someone recently that the day we are able to cease the need for a special day, that day will truly be worth celebrating with fireworks doing the rounds and I couldn’t agree more.

So by now, I know I still haven’t convincingly been able to tell you why I don’t celebrate these days with much grandeur but you do get the plot right. So all you ladies out there, remember you are your biggest strength and all you men out there, remember your ladies are as strong as you, probably even a little more strong!!.

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