He met her at an office party. She was careless, fearless and high on life. He instantly fell in love with her larger than life attitude. She, for a few weeks didn’t know he existed, until he walked up to her get memo signed. The reason why he got that memo made her curious. He had been given a memo for staying in the office beyond office hours and for arriving earlier than the office hours. She asked him if, there was anything wrong. He told her, “I have nothing else to do”. “This is my place of fun, work and entertainment”. I observe people and write about them, their habits. I write about almost everything. She had hated books always and it was a blessing to her when she passed her college. She did her post-graduation under the pressure of an emotional drama created by her mum and dad.
She asked him for links of his writings. She was surprised to read something. He had written about her too! She hadn’t looked her own self as proud and selfish. She only knew she was trying to live life at the fullest. She even argued with him for writing something about someone, without their permission. Few days later, she saw a message on her phone, it read, “I am sorry for judging you, will you give me another chance”. She thought to herself, “he is no harm to me”.
Soon the coffee meetings, turned into dates. They sure say the truth when they say, ” opposites attract”. They even got promoted in their professional and personal lives. They were now Mr and Mrs. Few months post marriage, they started facing the hurdles of being able to manage the daily hustle bustle. Soon began the fights and the arguments. The division of work didn’t work in their favour.
One fine day, he asked her to quit her job to take care of the house. She was furious. They went unspoken for a week. How could he ask her to give up a career that she had worked so hard for? She then remembered how her mum too had given up her glamorous and entertaining job of a T.V anchor to look after them and the house. She thought may be, that’s how it’s supposed to be. “The ways of the world”, she thought.
Once he had guests over for dinner. He was trying to crack a business deal to help him with the funds for his entrepreneurship. She was breathtakingly dressed. All the men and women were praises for her. He even saw some men drooling over her. She didn’t take notice, after all she was always a crowd pleasure and didn’t find anything odd.
He slapped her for the first time that night. She cried while he walked out on her. Later, in the morning, she found a bouquet of her favourite flowers with a sorry note. She forgave him.
She was soon used to the fights, abuses and the trauma. It became a part of her routine and she took it all in her stride. He once asked her to attend a client meeting for him because he had to travel to another city for work. She was happy to oblige. She had no choice!!
She was once again swept of her feet by his charm. She once again felt the butterflies. The meeting went well. From clients they soon became friends. From friends soon turned to lovers. He never got to know about her or her extra marital affair. She always had the excuse of work to cover it up. She hadn’t broken his trust. He had!! He had broken her soul the first time he asked her to give up her identity for him. The first time he raised his hand on her. The first time he threw the plate of food that she so meticulously, had prepared. The many first times, became the closures for her love and trust.
A marriage, a relationship or any companionship needs equal amount of love, respect and care. It is the equal responsibility of both individuals. Each relationship goes through struggles and turmoil but both need to be each other’s support equally. We cannot expect a partner to give up something, they have worked hard for. Find solutions to handle a problem or tackle a situation instead of walking away from it.
There are theories, studies, workshops, sessions to handle a relationship or a situation. The easiest way is to treat the other person just the way you want to be treated. Every relationship is like a weighing scale, it needs to be balanced. To build something you need to nurture it with hard work, patience and care. Similar to how we work towards our goals!!
What about failed relationships and goals we couldn’t achieve? Well, I just look at it as something that wasn’t meant to be. No matter how heart-breaking it is, that’s the fact. The easiest thing to do is to pick up the goodness and move on. Look for brighter options and continue living your life. To stay happy, move away from negativity. It is easier said than done but is doable. Since we believe in googling answers to our problems, Wikipedia too defines love as –
“Love encompasses a variety of strong and positive emotional and mental states, ranging from the most sublime virtue or good habit, the deepest interpersonal affection and to the simplest pleasure”
Love has always been simple and pure, we have made it complicated.